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Prevent a Trauma Bond and Narcissist Abuse

jmanelop



If you have been a victim of narcissist abuse, remember that God/the Universe never gives us a trial that you cannot overcome - so you can forgive the person and move on with your life. If you are spiritually strong you will understand that the trial is given to you to teach you a lesson to develop skills that you need and had not done so already.


Ways to prevent a trauma bond developing and narcissist abuse occurring:

1. Confront abuse effectively

2. Know your rights

3. Be assertive

4. Be strategic

5. Set Boundaries

6. Have consequences

7. Be educated

8. Have a healthy positive self-esteem

9. Be independent


Note if the narcissist does the work to address their issues and they prove to you in the future that they have done the work to become self-aware; that they want to regain your trust and repair their relationship with you, and you have no unhealed wounds of your own left to address then I suggest (unless they physically assaulted you) that you give them a second change as that is what God asks us to do (he says forgive up to “Seventy times Seven” times – Matthew 18:22). HOWEVER you should always have a healthy self-esteem, maintain independence, have boundaries and set consequences when dealing with the narcissist.


If you are the narcissist, if you do the work to address your issues then you can become healthy, happy and have better relationships with yourself and other people.


Ways that you can address your issues:

1. Stop changing partners because you are looking for the perfect one to come along

2. Stop getting angry when something does go your way

3. Learn to be ok with rejection

4. Learn to be selfless

5. Learn internal validation

6. Learn to be honest and provide others with transparency/clarity

7. Put my ego in check

8. Accept that failure is part of the learning process

9. Accept that behaviours have consequences

10. Stop making everything about me

11. Don’t worry about what other people have or what other people think of me

12. Start showing empathy, understanding and compassion for other people (recognise other people’s feelings)

13. Stop feeling superior, entitled or expecting special treatment

14. Stop taking advantage of other people for your gain or manipulating people

15. Stop bragging about your accomplishments

16. Start pausing before reacting

17. Imagine how you would like to behave in an ideal situation so that everyone wins

18. Start apologising when you should

19. Recognise your baggage

20. Stop putting other people down

21. Assume positive intent in others

22. Serve others – do nice things for other people

23. Accept your feelings instead of reacting to them

24. Learn to listen

25. Dig deep into what you might be avoiding

26. Cultivate mindfulness

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