Struggle to say no or set boundaries? Tips to build better Boundaries.

When you have effective boundaries that relate to your career, life, and well-being, you are honoring and protecting what is most important to you. 

Women find it more difficult to set boundaries than men for social, historical, and cultural reasons because they have been socialized to prioritize the needs of others over their own needs. As a result, they may feel guilty or selfish for setting boundaries, which can lead to anxiety and stress when setting boundaries in the workplace.

When you develop this skill, you will feel clear and well-defined, secure, and confident. 

Here are tips to help you build better boundaries:

1. Recognize Your Boundaries – Be honest with yourself about your physical, emotional, and mental capacity, and think about your needs, your wants, and what is most important to you. 

2. Communicate Your Boundaries - Clearly communicate to the people in your life who those boundaries will impact by being assertive and direct, but also respectful and empathetic (you may have to negotiate and get mutual agreement).

3. Learn to Say No – It gets easier with practice, so start small. 

4. Set boundaries in advance – When possible, so that others know what to expect. 

5. Avoid overcommitting – Be realistic about your time and energy. When a request is made, remember to pause, then let the person know that you need to look at your calendar and will get back to them within a specific number of hours.

 6. Surround yourself with supportive people – Pushback is bound to happen, so being with people that care about your well-being and respect your boundaries is better for you.

 7. Create physical boundaries – When needed, create physical separation and space to have a healthy boundary (i.e., go to another room; or remove technology). 

8. Set consequences – When people violate your boundaries, have a plan in place for what you do (i.e., do not respond). 

9. Practice self-reflection - Reflect on your progress, assess how well your boundaries are working for you; be open to feedback from others and adjust accordingly. 

Building better boundaries is a continual process and requires time to get the right balance for your needs and lifestyle.