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Ghosting

jmanelop



From my experience when people have ghosted me it was because they promised me the world, promised me that they would never hurt me, that they were different to other people and would never do that type of thing, that they would not be that type of person, but they let their insecurities and fears get the better of them and turned around and did it anyway.


If you are like me then you are not concerned by their words, you will want to see consistent actions and you will be secure in your own independence, self-esteem, self-respect, and self-confidence to know that this is an issue that they need to address and that they need to overcome.


If you have ghosted someone and you have come to realise that you do value, the friendship the only way to repair it is to confront the issue head on by having an honest conversation about it with the person that you hurt.


Be brave and reach out via a phone call and say I know we have not spoken in a long time, and I apologise for that, I am calling to ask would you be willing to meet up with me in person to have a chat?


Most people that have good values will do so even if it is for closure, or to help you become a better person, and if they value the friendship, they will be grateful that you reached out.


At the catch up, at the appropriate time say something along the lines of I know that I routinely did things (my actions) that were not consistent with my words, and I was afraid of getting hurt (which is my insecurity and fears) which was why I distanced myself from you. I am sorry if that hurt you or disappointed you, I value our friendship and are trying to routinely make sure that my fears and insecurities do not hurt other people, so I hope over time and through consistent effort that in the future that I can regain your friendship and trust.


In the long term if the person who originally ghosted actions have routinely match their words, the other person that had been hurt by them will let their guard down because trust will have been re-establish and the friendship will have be saved.

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