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Emotional Healing

jmanelop



If you have dark or unhealed parts to yourself which is commonly referred to as the shadow or suppressed personality, you can learn how to deal with this issue to heal and become your best self.


What is shadow work?

Shadow work is the process of acknowledging and accepting the hidden parts of your personality.

Here are three common defining characteristics to identify the dark/shadow suppressed personality:

1) It is what we have suppressed, often because it is too painful to acknowledge.

2) It is what is in our unconscious.

3) It is associated with the qualities we have that we worry are less appealing to people.

4) It is opposite of the light, representing the darkness within us.


Why are humans like this?

As spirits in a physical body, we have a dual nature being both eternal and carnal, so we have good and bad or light and dark within us. Our job whilst we are in this school called earth is to learn our lessons and experience about balance and how to become our best selves. There are appropriate times when we need each side of our nature, but it is about balancing each part of ourselves.


Why do we repress the shadow?

We each wear a social mask but that leads us to pretend that we are perfect, so we ignore the things that we need to address.


How do I identify If I have a shadow self?

1. Projection – Avoid facing our shortcomings, worry we are not good enough and project this onto others.

2. Criticise and Judge others – When we talk about others flaws and judge them, what is happening is what you do not like about others, exists in yourself.

3. Victimhood – Self-pity and instead of owning up to our part in a situation, we blame it on someone else.

4. Superiority – Thinking that we are better than others, it is often to mask our feelings of helplessness, worthlessness, and vulnerability.

5. Feeling Triggered – Feeling anger, frustration, and defensiveness that arise quickly.

6. Taking pleasure from pain – Engaging in self-destructive behaviours.

7. Unhealthy Relationships – Being in dysfunctional, unhealthy, or toxic relationships.


Why do you need to accept your shadow side?


Denial leads you to do the follow:

• Lying and cheating

• Self-loathing

• Self-sabotage

• Addiction

• Hypocrisy

• Depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems

• Obsessive behaviour

• Emotional instability

• Self-soother with drugs or alcohol

• Engage in sexual promiscuity/dangerous behaviours


Acceptances leads you to the following:

• Self-reflection,

• Self-examination,

• Self-knowledge,

• Self-love


Benefits of healing your shadow side:

1. Become aware of your emotional patterns and tendencies rather than being a slave to them.

2. Learn to recognize your own needs and desires.

3. Easily tap into the intuitive, inner voice and compass.

4. Grow spiritually by recognizing your connection with others, God/the Universe.

5. Increase your ability to make clearer decisions.

6. Improve your overall health and well-being.

7. Build confidence and self-esteem.

8. Deepen your relationships.

9. Enhance your creativity.

10. Become wiser, more stable, and more mature.


What steps do I need to take to change this?

• Identify - the issue(s) for yourself.

• Acknowledge - the feelings you get when you think about the issue(s).

• Remorse and regret – take appropriate action such as writing out an apology letter and burn it if apologising to yourself after you have had time to reflect on the feelings and have pondered about your feelings.

• Speak – say your truth and why you are sorry about it even if it is to yourself.

• Forgive – accept that this is in the past and look forward to positive future, otherwise you continue to attract more of the same and it will affect everyone you meet.

• Acceptance - make peace with it and set boundaries so that you can embrace the past and look forward with enthusiasm.

• Relief - allow yourself to feel the weight of stress of guilt and shame to be gone.

• Self-Care – Do positive things that nurture the soul to help represent the best parts of you.


Shadow work test, ask yourself these questions before starting shadow work:

1. Who am I?

2. What do I want?

3. What do I have to let go of to get the things I desire?

4. Who do I have to become to receive those things?

5. How do I want to show up?


How can you look after myself during the recovery process?

• Grounding

• Go into nature

• Self care

• Gardening

• Meditation

• Lavender bath

• Lavender on pillow

• Journaling

• Dream Journaling


You can achieve anything that you put your mind to, so go forward knowing that the journey ahead is for your best and highest self.

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