The ego is the part of the human psyche that identifies with the physical body and our desires and needs, often associated with self-centredness, pride and separateness from others. It affects everything from how you perceive the world to how you behave around others. The ego stunts our spiritual growth because it keeps us attached to the material world and prevents us from realising our true nature as spiritual being.
What causes our ego to be so inflated?
Our ego is often a mask that we put on to avoid dealing with the pain associated with soul wounds or negative feelings that we do not want to address.
What are soul wounds?
Rejection wound, abandonment wound, humiliation wound, betrayal wound, and injustice wound.
What will happen if we continue to ignore dealing with our wounds?
Lack of acceptance, assessing them and experiencing the feelings of guilt, fear, regret etc will result in you meeting them again until you have deal with them properly.
How can the ego manifests each of these wounds?
The Wound of Rejection
The ego’s reaction: putting on a withdrawn mask, can manifest through:
Escaping into alcohol, drugs, sudden trips, virtual games etc.
The Wound of Abandonment
The ego’s reaction: putting on a dependent mask, can manifest itself through:
Seeking external validation; changeable moods; fear of loneliness and problems with ending relationships etc.
The Wound of Humiliation
The ego’s reaction: putting on a masochist mask can manifest by:
Putting the needs of others above your own; compensates for different needs with food.
The Wound of Betrayal
Ego reaction: putting on a controlling mask by:
Attaching importance to reputation; applying rigor, manipulation, and control.
The Wound of Injustice
The ego’s reaction: putting on a harsh mask can manifest by:
Fear of losing control; problems showing feelings; unaware of your own injustice towards others; problems creating a satisfying intimate relationship and putting skills above feelings.
How do wounds get activated?
The wound can be activated by somebody’s attitude or behaviour towards you; by your attitude towards someone else or by your attitude towards yourself.
How can you heal your wounds?
Become aware of the wound and accept it, then stop the ego mask from dominating.
Accept that your fears are guided by your ego which affects your perception of reality and reactions in given situations.
Below are examples of how to heal each wound type:
Rejection: Feel good in your skin, even though someone forgets about your existence.
Abandonment: Feel good even though you are alone, and do not seek someone’s attention.
Humiliation: Ask without feeling disturbed, check your needs before you commit to others.
Betrayal: Feel proud of your achievements, don’t get attached to results or be in the spotlight.
Injustice: Allow yourself to be imperfect, and fear of judgment.
Remember do not accept in others what we do not want to see in ourselves.
Tips to reduce or kill the ego:
Always Right Vs Always Happy
The need to always win an argument can cost you, your happiness, peace of mind, and your relationship. Learning to recognise danger signs that you or your partner/friend may be getting hurt because of an ongoing argument and deciding to give up on the fight.
Tolerance And Contentment
Inflated egos are easily offended, so to defeat it you need practice the art of tolerance. People are different and have varying perspectives, tastes, and preferences which has nothing to do with your self-worth. Knowing your true self and worth allows you to be content with whatever you have and that the rest is superfluous. Therefore, contentment leaves you with a feeling of calm.
Overcome The Need To Be Better
No one is better than anyone else, more superior or right all the time. There may be others that are smarter, prettier, stronger, or faster than you, but that can change in an instant, so the only person you should compete with is yourself to make yourself better than the person you were yesterday.
Practice Meditation
Meditation helps you understand your inner self, wants and desires, so you learn how to control it and respond to outer stimuli more positively and effectively.
Review The Day
Review the day’s events daily, the process of self-examination is a guaranteed method for self-control, contentment, and happiness.
Addiction and Ego: A Disease of Spirituality
Addiction often comes along with the ego and soul wounds which affect your spirituality to hinder your individual path towards inner peace and happiness. We are a spirit in a physical body so when we have addictions (which is a physical disease) we end up with a disease of our spirituality because we have let our spirit be crushed. Fortunately, damage to your spirit is temporary and can be repaired.
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